Pregunta
Los jóvenes son conscientes de que estamos aquí para limpiar el karma. ¿El matrimonio incurre en karma? ¿Deben los jóvenes casarse?
Sadgurú Sri Madhusudan Sai
Si consigues una buena esposa, puedes casarte, porque el matrimonio es una parte integral de cómo Dios ha diseñado toda la sociedad: así es como funciona este mundo. Decimos: dharma, artha, kāma, mokṣa, lo que significa a través del dharma: formas rectas de vivir, uno debe ganar riqueza y cumplir los deseos rectos de uno y, en última instancia, alcanzar mokṣa. Las diferentes etapas de āśrama: brahmacarya, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa están ahí, pero la pareja adecuada en la etapa de gṛhastha es importante. Si es una pareja equivocada, se convierte en un obstáculo en el camino hacia mokṣa. Entonces, ¡cómo eliges a tu pareja es la pregunta! ¿Deberías incluso casarte o no? —Sí, puedes casarte si eso te va a ayudar a crecer espiritualmente y alcanzar las metas de la vida. ¿Cómo saber si es la persona correcta o la persona equivocada? En nuestras escrituras, tenemos la ciencia de la astrología que podemos usar, porque esta es una ciencia comprobada para saber cómo irán juntas dos personas, cómo se incurrirá en karma en función de su pasado, en función de las estrellas en las que nacieron y, por lo tanto, ciertas guṇas o cualidades que tienen.
Puedes reprimir tus guṇas para impresionar a la chica, pero eventualmente todo resurgirá. De repente ella dirá que has cambiado después del matrimonio. Tú no eres con quien ella se casó, lo cual es cierto porque actuaste como otra persona para casarse. Entonces, si no tienes que actuar, pero la otra persona te acepta tal como eres, entonces es una mejor sociedad. Del mismo modo, la otra persona no debe poner una fachada pretenciosa, solo para que la aceptes. Porque, en un momento posterior, todos estos guṇas resurgirán y sufrirán unos con otros. Así que no finjas, no intentes impresionar artificialmente y casarte.
Si conoce a una persona, reúnase varias veces, conozca a los padres; de hecho, recuerde que los matrimonios son entre dos familias, no son solo dos personas. Las dos familias tienen que estar cómodas, tomen esto en cuenta. Estoy seguro de que si oras a Dios, Él te mostrará a la persona adecuada. Y, como dije, no pretendas, no seas artificial. Esto es lo que sucede en la mayoría de los países, especialmente, lo he visto en países muy desarrollados, incluso en la India sucede ahora. Los padres no se involucran en absoluto, los niños se encuentran entre sí; esto es bueno, está bien, no hay nada malo en esto. Pero, ¿cómo se encuentran? — tratando de verse físicamente atractivo, haciendo cosas para complacer a la otra persona solo para ser aceptado. Pero, después de dos o tres años, ya no pueden actuar. Se convertirán en lo que son, y ahí es cuando comienza la ruptura.
Entonces, si realmente sabes quién eres y quién es la otra persona, acéptate por lo que ambos sean y luego cásate conscientemente. Esto te preparará para lo que te estás metiendo y sabrás cómo manejarlo. La mayoría de las veces, las personas se engañan y se casan. La otra opción es elegir la astrología y usar el tipo correcto de predicciones. Elige un astrólogo real y no uno falso. No busques astrología en línea. Encuentra a alguien que sea realmente sabio y que pueda guiarte. La última opción que no quiero que ejerzas a menudo es: puedes preguntarle a tu gurú.
Sr. B N Narasimha Murthy: para esta pregunta, "¿Cómo sé si es la pareja adecuada para mí?", Sócrates dijo: "Si consigues la pareja adecuada, serás feliz". De lo contrario, te convertirás en un filósofo como yo.
Sadguru Sri Madhusudan Sai – No, no es así. Anteriormente, solían acudir a un gurú y pedirle que los guiara. Incluso hoy sucede: conocí a tres familias en las que el niño o la niña habían encontrado a su pareja y querían preguntarme si estaba bien seguir adelante. En cualquier caso, sentí que eran buenas personas que pueden aprender unos de otros y crecer, incluso si no eran devotos de Sri Sathya Sai Baba, les pedí que siguieran adelante. Te guiaré solo si lo pides con sinceridad y estás dispuesto a escucharme.
Un día, un hombre llegó con una tarjeta de matrimonio y dijo: 'Por favor, bendice mi matrimonio, me voy a casar'. Si extiende una tarjeta en darśan, ¿cuál debería ser mi respuesta? ¿Puedo decir un 'no' y romper la tarjeta en dos y decirle que no se case, porque era peligroso y no estaba bien para él? ¿Qué haré, si la tarjeta de matrimonio está impresa y ya está todo decidido? Todo lo que puedo hacer es levantar la mano y decir: 'Bien, sé feliz y ten una buena vida', dale algunas akṣatas y déjalo ir.
Después de seis meses, el compañero me escribe: 'Te traje mi tarjeta, busqué tus bendiciones, incluso puse tu foto en el escenario el día de mi matrimonio. Si sabías que esto no iba a funcionar, podrías haberlo detenido de alguna manera. ¿Qué estabas haciendo?' ¿Qué le digo? – Si hubiera roto esa tarjeta en público y le hubiera dicho: 'No te cases', de todos modos no me habría aceptado. Habría seguido adelante con lo que quería; y ahora me dice, deberías haberme detenido en ese momento. La verdad es que si estás dispuesto a escucharme, te habría detenido allí mismo. Hay muchas familias incluso aquí, con las que a veces me he mostrado agresivo, inflexible o enojado cuando no me escuchaban o cuando les iba mal. había puesto el pie en el suelo.
En ese momento, es posible que no les haya gustado, pero hoy son felices. Del mismo modo, hay otras familias a las que no pude salvar porque no me sentía cómodo diciendo la verdad, porque no estaban preparados para escuchar la verdad. Si les hubiera dicho, 'esto no va a funcionar', no lo iban a aceptar. Más tarde, cuando sufrieron, simplemente sufrieron. ¿Qué puedo hacer al respecto?
Entonces, si estás totalmente rendido a un gurú, hazle una pregunta al gurú, y diga lo que diga, simplemente síguelo ciegamente. Si no te has rendido, no vayas al gurú en absoluto. Porque diga lo que diga no te va a gustar. De lo contrario, vaya al astrólogo o, como dije, lo mejor es pasar un tiempo con la familia, entre ellos y no pretender ser otra persona solo para casarse. Sé lo que eres y, a pesar de eso, si la gente te acepta, entonces adelante y cásate. Todos ustedes son buenos hijos; Estoy seguro de que siempre le gustarás a alguien u otro.
Question
The youths are aware that we are here to clear karma. Does marriage incur karma? Should youth get married?
Sadguru Sri Madhusudan Sai
So, if you really know who you are and who the other person is, accept each other for whatever both of you are, and then get married consciously. This will prepare you for what you are getting into and you will know how to handle it. Most of the times, people fool each other and get into marriages. The other option is to choose astrology and use the right kind of predictions. Choose a real astrologer and not a fake one. Don't go for online astrology. Find somebody who really is wise, and who can guide you. Last option which I don't want you to exercise often is – you can ask your guru.
Mr B N Narasimha Murthy – For this question, 'How do I know if it is the right partner for me?' – Socrates said, 'If you get the right partner, you will be happy. Otherwise you will become a philosopher like me.'
Sadguru Sri Madhusudan Sai – No, that is not how it is. Earlier, they used to go to a guru, and request the guru to guide. Even today it happens—I met three families where either the boy or the girl had found their partner and wanted to ask me if it was fine to go ahead. In whichever the case, I felt that they were good people who can learn from each other and grow, even if they were not devotees of Sri Sathya Sai Baba, I asked them to go ahead. I will guide only if you ask sincerely and are willing to listen to me.
One day, one fellow landed up with a marriage card, and he said – 'Please bless my marriage, I am getting married.' If he extends a card in darśan, what should be my response? Can I tell a 'no' and tear the card into two and tell him not to get married, because it was dangerous and not right for him? What will I do, if the marriage card is printed and everything is already decided? All I can do is, raise my hand and say – 'Good, be happy and have a good life', give him some akṣatas and let him go.
After six months the fellow writes to me – 'I brought my card to you, I sought your blessings, I even put your photo on the stage on the day of my marriage. If you knew this was not going to work, you could have stopped it in some way. What were you doing?' What do I tell him? – Had I torn that card in public and told, 'Don't get married,' he would have anyway not accepted me. He would have gone ahead with what he wanted; and now he is telling me, you should have stopped me at that time. The truth is, if you are willing to listen to me, I would have stopped you then and there. There are many families even here, with whom I have been sometimes aggressive, adamant, or angry when they were not listening to me or when they were going wrong. I had put down my foot.
At that point in time, they might not have liked me—but today they are happy. Similarly, there are other families whom I couldn't save, because I was not comfortable telling the truth, because they were not ready to listen to the truth. If I had told, 'this is not going to work', they were not going to accept it. Later on, when they suffered, they just suffered. What can I do about it?
So, if you are totally surrendered to a guru, ask the guru a question, and whatever he says, just follow blindly. If you have not surrendered, don't go to the guru at all. Because whatever he says you are not going to like it. Otherwise go to the astrologer or as I said, best is to spend some time with the family, with each other and don't pretend to be somebody else just to get married. Be what you are and despite that if people accept you, then go ahead and get married. You are all good children; I am sure somebody or the other will always like you.
If you get a good wife, you can get married, because marriage is an integral part of how God has designed the whole society—that's how this world works. We say – dharma, artha, kāma, mokṣa, which means through dharma – righteous ways of living, one must earn wealth and fulfil one's righteous desires and ultimately attain mokṣa. The different stages of āśrama – brahmacarya, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, sannyāsa are there, but the right partner at the gṛhastha stage is important. If it is a wrong partner, it becomes an obstacle in the path to mokṣa. So, how do you choose your partner is the question! Should you even marry or not? —Yes, you can marry if that is going to help you to grow spiritually and attain the goals of life. How do you know if it is the right person or wrong person? In our scriptures, we have the science of astrology that we can use—because this is a proven science to know how two people will go together, how karma will be incurred based on their past, based on whichever stars they were born, and therefore certain guṇas or qualities that they have.
You might suppress your guṇas to impress the girl, but eventually it will all resurface. Suddenly she will say that you have changed after marriage. You are not the one whom she married, which is true because you acted like somebody else to get married. So, if you don't have to act, yet the other person accepts you as you are, then it is a better partnership. Similarly, the other person should not put up a pretentious front, just to get accepted by you. Because, at a later time, all these guṇas will resurface and you will suffer with each other. So, don't pretend, don't artificially try to impress and get married.
If you meet a person, meet a few times, meet the parents—in fact, remember marriages are between two families, it is not just two people. The two families have to be comfortable—take this into account. I am sure, if you pray to God, He will show you the right person. And, as I said, don't pretend, don't be artificial. This is what happens in most of the countries—especially, I have seen in very developed countries, even in India it happens now. The parents are not involved at all, children find each other—this is good, it's ok, there is no wrong in this. But, how do they find each other? — by trying to look physically attractive, by doing things to please the other person just to get accepted. But, after two years or three years, they can't act anymore. They will become what they are, and that's when the rift begins.
You might suppress your guṇas to impress the girl, but eventually it will all resurface. Suddenly she will say that you have changed after marriage. You are not the one whom she married, which is true because you acted like somebody else to get married. So, if you don't have to act, yet the other person accepts you as you are, then it is a better partnership. Similarly, the other person should not put up a pretentious front, just to get accepted by you. Because, at a later time, all these guṇas will resurface and you will suffer with each other. So, don't pretend, don't artificially try to impress and get married.
If you meet a person, meet a few times, meet the parents—in fact, remember marriages are between two families, it is not just two people. The two families have to be comfortable—take this into account. I am sure, if you pray to God, He will show you the right person. And, as I said, don't pretend, don't be artificial. This is what happens in most of the countries—especially, I have seen in very developed countries, even in India it happens now. The parents are not involved at all, children find each other—this is good, it's ok, there is no wrong in this. But, how do they find each other? — by trying to look physically attractive, by doing things to please the other person just to get accepted. But, after two years or three years, they can't act anymore. They will become what they are, and that's when the rift begins.
So, if you really know who you are and who the other person is, accept each other for whatever both of you are, and then get married consciously. This will prepare you for what you are getting into and you will know how to handle it. Most of the times, people fool each other and get into marriages. The other option is to choose astrology and use the right kind of predictions. Choose a real astrologer and not a fake one. Don't go for online astrology. Find somebody who really is wise, and who can guide you. Last option which I don't want you to exercise often is – you can ask your guru.
Mr B N Narasimha Murthy – For this question, 'How do I know if it is the right partner for me?' – Socrates said, 'If you get the right partner, you will be happy. Otherwise you will become a philosopher like me.'
Sadguru Sri Madhusudan Sai – No, that is not how it is. Earlier, they used to go to a guru, and request the guru to guide. Even today it happens—I met three families where either the boy or the girl had found their partner and wanted to ask me if it was fine to go ahead. In whichever the case, I felt that they were good people who can learn from each other and grow, even if they were not devotees of Sri Sathya Sai Baba, I asked them to go ahead. I will guide only if you ask sincerely and are willing to listen to me.
One day, one fellow landed up with a marriage card, and he said – 'Please bless my marriage, I am getting married.' If he extends a card in darśan, what should be my response? Can I tell a 'no' and tear the card into two and tell him not to get married, because it was dangerous and not right for him? What will I do, if the marriage card is printed and everything is already decided? All I can do is, raise my hand and say – 'Good, be happy and have a good life', give him some akṣatas and let him go.
After six months the fellow writes to me – 'I brought my card to you, I sought your blessings, I even put your photo on the stage on the day of my marriage. If you knew this was not going to work, you could have stopped it in some way. What were you doing?' What do I tell him? – Had I torn that card in public and told, 'Don't get married,' he would have anyway not accepted me. He would have gone ahead with what he wanted; and now he is telling me, you should have stopped me at that time. The truth is, if you are willing to listen to me, I would have stopped you then and there. There are many families even here, with whom I have been sometimes aggressive, adamant, or angry when they were not listening to me or when they were going wrong. I had put down my foot.
At that point in time, they might not have liked me—but today they are happy. Similarly, there are other families whom I couldn't save, because I was not comfortable telling the truth, because they were not ready to listen to the truth. If I had told, 'this is not going to work', they were not going to accept it. Later on, when they suffered, they just suffered. What can I do about it?
So, if you are totally surrendered to a guru, ask the guru a question, and whatever he says, just follow blindly. If you have not surrendered, don't go to the guru at all. Because whatever he says you are not going to like it. Otherwise go to the astrologer or as I said, best is to spend some time with the family, with each other and don't pretend to be somebody else just to get married. Be what you are and despite that if people accept you, then go ahead and get married. You are all good children; I am sure somebody or the other will always like you.
